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6 Things To Never Say To Your Boss

Professionalism is a learned skill and one you can develop with practice. Until then, practice keeping your mouth shut. While no one has the perfect boss, being a mouthy employee will never garner positive attention no matter where you live: Kentucky, Indiana, Hawaii, Delaware, Arizona, Connecticut, etc. Just in case you were wondering where the line of appropriateness lies, steer clear of saying these six things to your boss.

  1. “Nice boobs.”

    Especially if your boss is a male. Sexual harassment can occur on the job, but giving your boss’s sexual organs a “compliment” is just downright stupid.

    Try this: “Nice tie.” “Can I get you some coffee?” “Don’t you just love that Justin Bieber?”

  2. “How much do they pay you to do nothing around here?”

    Never discuss salary. And never insinuate that your boss isn’t perennially busy. Never assume it, either. Every employee has downtime at the office, but your boss probably does all kinds of work that you never see.

    Try this: “Yes, I do think blocking Facebook would be good for productivity.” “Can you give me more work?” “Office Space was an awful movie. Who could possibly be bored to death in a cubicle?!”

  3. “Does this look infected to you?”

    That’s gross. Don’t gross out your boss. Avoid being the “TMI” employee. Every office has one. If you talk about passing gas, your hygiene habits (or lack thereof), or come to work with open wounds and draw attention to them at the water cooler, news flash: It’s you.

    Try this: “I’m planning to work through lunch so we can get ahead on this project.” “Allow me to get the door for you.” “I’m really looking forward to Boss Appreciation Day!”

  4. “Have you been saved?”

    Unless you want to get an exaggerated eye roll and a grumbled “Jesus Christ,” don’t talk to your boss about religion. And especially don’t try to convert her. Do you really want to see your boss in Heaven? Think about it.

    Try this: “Let’s ramp up the synergy!” “Formal Friday has a much better ring to it than Casual Friday. And you already have all those stuffy bowties!” “TGIF!”

  5. “Boy, that Bethany really sucks.”

    Don’t ever speak negatively of other employees, even if it’s obvious they suck. If you have to say something about your coworkers, say something positive or helpful.

    Try This: “Is there anything I can do to be a better team member?” “How ’bout that Sports Team?” “Magnets! How do they work?”

  6. “No.”

    New Rule: If your boss is asking you a question, assume the answer is yes. Here’s the deal — they’re not really asking you if you want to stay an hour late to finish up that TPS report. They’re telling you what you should do in order to maintain employment. Know your limits, but in general, accept new projects with grace.

    Try this: “Yes.” “Sure. Is there anything else I can do to streamline our process?” “Thank you, sir. May I have another?”

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